Tag: trauma

Pieces (*Caution*)

I wrote this many, many years ago, when I was not safe, in an abusive relationship. Thankfully I got free, and never looked back.

There are broken pieces on the floor all around me.
I’m falling…
Breaking, if I don’t drown in theses tears first.
You’re a stab in the heart, you turn my world upside down.
Don’t you get it I have turned to stone.
I’m a statue in the making.
I won’t feel, I can’t feel.
My love has become impossible to steal.
It’s not happening, not again.
I’m sorry, I can’t give you love; I don’t have any to give.
I’m just broken pieces on the ground.

Please leave me be.
Don’t waste your time on me.
There is a waiting time, and you don’t have the time to waste.
I’m not ready and I won’t be anytime soon.
This pain is crushing me.
I walk around in a cold body.
I do anything I can; wrong or right, just to feel a God Damn Thing!!

Don’t you understand; he used me, he abused me; he used my love against me.
I have lost my trust, and I am not getting it back.
Give me a break, don’t do this to me.
Help, he is still using my love against me.
I’m Tired of this shit. I’m sorry mom.
I want to run.
I want a drink.
Fuck, I don’t know what I want anymore…
I’m sinking, letting the surroundings consume me.
It will be easier than the pain he will thrust upon me.
Silence, I am hiding to never return as I leave it behind me.
Who I will be tomorrow I don’t know, but there is no way I can get anymore broken then I already am.
My future is to be decided, but momma I got away.

Broken Wings

Doors close behind my eyes 

I no longer see what I’m used to. 

The shutters of my heart close. 

I only see a blank page.  

Everything’s changed and can’t be reminded. 

My life has stopped with the pain. 

I no longer see what I once saw;  

I am now overwhelmed with worry, fear, and agony for the cry of a baby. 

All I think about is her; the angel I created inside of me. 

I can’t help but wonder are her wings broken, or does she have none.  

They say chances are slim, if that is true, I might go limp. 

I can’t help but feel this feeling that I didn’t do the job I was supposed to do. 

My body has let me down.  

My body has failed me. 

I want to not try again; so, I don’t catch blame for breaking another angel’s wings… 

For now, I wait,  

I wait for the light to shine through my shadow of defeat. 

The light shall bring me back to the once happy life I lived.  

Poem By KNP