Yesterday I made the big decision to publish my second book next year. First payment on publishing made, not to finish my book!!! I’m terrified and excited at the same time. This is a big step, but I have worked on this book on and off for 10 plus years. HERE goes nothing. Cheers to 2022, should be exciting.
I wrote this many, many years ago, when I was not safe, in an abusive relationship. Thankfully I got free, and never looked back.
There are broken pieces on the floor all around me.
Breaking, if I don’t drown in theses tears first.
You’re a stab in the heart, you turn my world upside down.
Don’t you get it I have turned to stone.
I’m a statue in the making.
I won’t feel, I can’t feel.
My love has become impossible to steal.
It’s not happening, not again.
I’m sorry, I can’t give you love; I don’t have any to give.
I’m just broken pieces on the ground.
Please leave me be.
Don’t waste your time on me.
There is a waiting time, and you don’t have the time to waste.
I’m not ready and I won’t be anytime soon.
This pain is crushing me.
I walk around in a cold body.
I do anything I can; wrong or right, just to feel a God Damn Thing!!
Don’t you understand; he used me, he abused me; he used my love against me.
I have lost my trust, and I am not getting it back.
Give me a break, don’t do this to me.
Help, he is still using my love against me.
I’m Tired of this shit. I’m sorry mom.
I want to run.
I want a drink.
Fuck, I don’t know what I want anymore…
I’m sinking, letting the surroundings consume me.
It will be easier than the pain he will thrust upon me.
Silence, I am hiding to never return as I leave it behind me.
Who I will be tomorrow I don’t know, but there is no way I can get anymore broken then I already am.
My future is to be decided, but momma I got away.