Category: Motherhood

Always xoxo

Sitting here at the laundry mat, teaching the girl her ABC's.
She's so smart, can't believe how much she's grown.
Years ago, life was so unknown.
Now I'm working and we have a home.
I've got her and she's got me.
She says Mommy your all I need.
It warms my heart; it melts the snow.
Only this mommy would know...

When the green-eyed girl looks up at you, holds your hand as you cross the street. 
Momma's heart skips a beat. 
That sweet kiss goodnight on the cheek and then you hear " I love you" from down the hall. 
Baby girl and I are doing this on our own.
Don't need no man to make this a home.  
I once thought it had to be, now I'm finding out nothing is how you plan it to be. 

Shit this isn't where I thought I'd be; low-income housing and food stamps for me. 
Where is my ring.
Where are my three kids.
Where the family photo that should be on the fridge. 
Where is her Daddy, when she needs him the most?

I know where I stand, I know who I am.
Until my day ends, all be here until that last i love you and kiss goodnight.
This mother's love won't burn out.
Cause when I'm gone, all love you more.
All watch you grow, as I stand above you.
All be your angel...cause this momma will never leave you. 

 Krissy 2015

I wrote this song when my daughter was 5 or 6 years old, we lived-in low-income housing, and I had raised her on my own. She was my motivation, my reason to strive. My biggest fear was what would happen to her if I wasn’t alive.

Fairytale or Reality?

Mirror, mirror on the wall.

When will he come; when will he call.

Is love true; is he the one I shall vow too.

I am uncertain.

As long as I wait, I will continue to love more.

I stand bystander to the crowds as I desire the touch of your hand among mine.

Will he be the finally, the one that make my heart most true?

Or am I still to wait for they sir you….

(Poem of the young/ wishful me)

Ever since I was a little girl, I was a real sucker for a fairy tale. As I grew older, and life hit me like a baseball bat into next year. I learned the hard way that, that is not reality. Life, the real one we experience isn’t like the daydreams we cling to when where young full of hopes. That would just be too easy. We are one a rollercoaster, the hard, the tragic, and the mistakeable misfortune of growing older still searching for what you longer for at 10 years old playing wedding. Even in that misfortune I wouldn’t rewind, to do that I would lose all the moments that make you the person you are today. Without it all, I wouldn’t have the experience or the longing to write to others who too are still looking for just a little bit of fairytale to come true. Keep dreaming, it can still happen, but best advice I can give is readjust your reality and prepare for the short comings that will come your way on the rollercoaster to your future.

Broken Wings

Doors close behind my eyes 

I no longer see what I’m used to. 

The shutters of my heart close. 

I only see a blank page.  

Everything’s changed and can’t be reminded. 

My life has stopped with the pain. 

I no longer see what I once saw;  

I am now overwhelmed with worry, fear, and agony for the cry of a baby. 

All I think about is her; the angel I created inside of me. 

I can’t help but wonder are her wings broken, or does she have none.  

They say chances are slim, if that is true, I might go limp. 

I can’t help but feel this feeling that I didn’t do the job I was supposed to do. 

My body has let me down.  

My body has failed me. 

I want to not try again; so, I don’t catch blame for breaking another angel’s wings… 

For now, I wait,  

I wait for the light to shine through my shadow of defeat. 

The light shall bring me back to the once happy life I lived.  

Poem By KNP